


heavy

by yamatsukkei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Lowercase, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 07:47:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21490837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamatsukkei/pseuds/yamatsukkei
Summary: the second he saw anything, he felt as if he was going to regret it. he knew it was serious. he knew that. but he still never shut up, and he regretted it.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	heavy

**Author's Note:**

> last night was fun for tsukki in rp lmao  
also i had to write this after seeing my yama's fic too 😔✊

the second he saw anything, he felt as if he was going to regret it. he knew it was serious. he knew that. which is why he had instantly went to hinata, texting him because he didn't want to expose himself in their group chat.

now, kei usually is great at emotional problems. he always knew how to talk to others concerning their feelings on a matter or another, as said by many of his teammates. but this was one problem where his mind was drawing a blank. he weighed his options. the one person who always ended up being 50% of his self-control was asleep, and kei, unfortunate victim of insomnia, had no one to talk to. he wasn't close to anyone else. hinata, the one exception, had pushed him away, and while he was initially angry at his stupidity, he felt nothing but empty as he stared at hinata's last message to him.

it was so fucking stupid, how one single letter can send kei into a mental, emotional turmoil. physical too, if he focused on the way his chest constricted and the way his eyes felt too wide, the way his body seemed so sluggish, and he just laid down onto the wooden deck of his backyard, having been out there for the past few hours ever since tadashi had went to sleep after a night of star gazing with him.

that one single stupid letter, which he had been hit with twice before, during a time of anxiety that kei could probably never forget for the rest of his life. he groaned, laying his arm flat across his face, effectively covering his eyes. that letter really did cause all previous thoughts to fly out of his head, then. 

it was so stupid. he was so stupid.

because of course, he had to go out and attack another teammate for it, because he was upset that he couldn't talk to hinata or yamaguchi at the time, and he lashed out. of course he had to do this to himself, someone who, never really had faith in himself to keep friends that _weren't _yamaguchi around. his teammates should have been an exception, he knows that now. but with all the shit that happened during the past week? it's been hell, trying to interact with anyone that wasn't a first year.

kei hated drama.

he hated drama, and he hated the fact that he wanted to run away from it all. he knew how the team was expected to be at practice, but with the absence of one irritating sunshine boy? kei didn't know what to think. he just wanted to stay home. that's why he begged tadashi to stay home with him, because he knew today was going to be a terrible day. because he was a child, who couldn't stand to be alone with his thoughts.

but he had been alone enough with his thoughts, not that he blamed tadashi. he needed his rest after all.

kei could care less about his own state.

he just wished he wasn't panicking, because of his own words, his own stupidity. his own incompetence to keep himself under control. but why did it matter so much? why did it matter that he blindly jumped onto some train he wasn't even sure he was belonged on? it wasn't his problem. he wasn't directly involved. but he made it his problem, and he wondered why he was so idiotic to have done so, why it hurts so much to have done so. and kei had subconsciously realized why, long ago.

his teammates, no matter how close he is to them, ended up becoming a bit like friends to him. it wasn't _just_ tadashi. it wasn't _just_ hinata. not anymore.

he thought of this still, speaking in hushed voices to tadashi, who trickled out of his house like a stray raindrop of water falling from a leaf, on a blazing hot, sunny day. a brief feeling of freshness upon skin, no matter how small it may be.

explaining his own insecurities to him while he held him in his arms, explaining his own fears to him while he hugged him back, explaining how much he knew he had to own up to what was said to his senpai, all while giving him the vibe check that had become their own, unlike any other that the established couples in the team could have done.

"it's going to be okay. and if not, i'll _make_ it okay," whispered tadashi, rubbing circles into his back. kei just groaned, leaning his head into his shoulder as he felt tired, so tired, and unwilling to properly start the day.

"okay," agreed kei, because while he was not fond of his own battles being fought for him, he was appreciative of any assistance he could get.


End file.
